Lexy is betrayed and falls back into the spiral of drugs and sex that she fought so hard to escape.
In Ruins (Part 1)
(knock knock knock knock)
"Lexy!"
"Lexy, open the door baby! Let's talk about this, don't go crazy without even talking to me!"
"Lexy!"
Cassius was banging the heel of his fist on the drivers side window, begging me to open the locked driver-side door while he tried in vain to open it. No way in hell was I going to open the door. I couldn't even bear to open my eyes, much less look at him. Thinking at all was a chore at this moment, pulled over in the parking lot of a deserted shopping strip center. I never intended to stop the car; if not for my sobing, which was completely debilitating, I'd have driven as far as it took for Cassius to stop following me. I might have made it home, but when I saw his motorcycle pull up behind me, flashing his headlight, motioning for me to pull over, it was too much. The dam burst, and it was only a few more blocks before I was a convulsing, teary mess behind the wheel.
My friends have taken to calling me an old soul, and until recently I really didn't know what that meant. But now, two years removed from the stifling cocoon of my family, I kind of get the drift. I always questioned more than others my age, took less for granted, and trusted slower. Having tangled myself in a few too many drugs and cocktails, dropped out of college, and worked nights to simply keep a roof over my head, those instincts have only become more entrenched in me.
Most girls my age jump in head-first when they meet a guy they like. I met the man of my dreams, and as much as I loved being around him, and as strong as our sexual attraction was, I found myself having to force myself to appreciate how much he cared for me, and try to enjoy the moments together and all the nice things he did for me. As usual, trust was the last thing to be earned, and I clawed to the ledge of skepticism as long as I could until, finally, my heart gave up the fight. I fell in love, and I fell hard.
As I opened my heart, I realized that Cassius was everything I'd ever wanted in a lover- he was big, strong, handsome, protective, and was as generous a man as I'd ever really been around, whether it was money, time, or just an ear to lend for whatever might be bothering me. It was his confidence, though, that got my attention from that first encounter, and kept me coming back for more. Even though I had a hard time admitting it to myself, maybe this was partially to make up for a lack of my own.
The other thing it did was make me blind to the things that I probably should have seen as clear warning signs. He and his family ran several businesses, the specifics of which were never discussed, and he always seemed to carry a lot of cash, yet as plentiful as he shared it when I needed some, I never thought twice about where it might really come from. I did once ask him if he and his family did anything illegal and he just laughed at me- I pressed him and he promised that they didn't. Still there were plenty of red flags had I been willing to see them, but as we grew closer, my old soul questioned less and less about where my heart was taking it.
And then one day the roof caved in.
---
A few weeks earlier, Cassius had given me the key to his home so that I could come and go without disturbing his two brothers who shared his house. I usually used the door that led right into his bedroom, especially after finishing my waitress shift; I'd sneak in just as the sun was coming up, crawling under the covers and into his sleeping brace until he had to get up to start his day. Having served alcoholics, jerks, and cheapskates all night, it was just the relaxation therapy I needed.
I was at his place before work, all changed and ready to go. We'd had wonderful sex, the kind that only made you look forward to more of it, and Cassius had stayed in bed while I showered and dressed- now it was time for me to go.
"So are you down for the night, baby?", I asked him, leaning over the bed for a goodbye hug.
"Been a hard week, I think I'm just going to get some sleep", he said, punctuating it with a kiss before I turned to leave.
"See you after work, love you!", I said over my shoulder as I closed the door behind me.
Work had been slow lately, especially mid-week, and it looked like a couple of us were going to get sent home. I usually begged and pleaded to stay, knowing that even the meager hourly rate and a precious few tips were better than nothing at all. On this night however, carrying more cash in my wallet than I could make in a week of waitressing, Cassius' bed sounded much better than tending an empty section all night. Ever since he'd started helping me, my job had gotten far less stressful, and every penny no longer counted. The others happy accepted my offer to leave, and less than an hour after arriving I was on my way back to my baby.
Approaching the house, I noticed a couple of cars in the driveway, one of which looked to be my roommate Cai's. She went on a few dates with one of his brothers, Marcellus, but they really started and ended strictly as fuck buddies, nothing serious.
"Heh," I thought. "Maybe she missed him and placed a booty-call." I smiled as I parked along the street and walked around to the door into his room, where I could see the lights were still on. I could hear the deep thump of hip-hop bass emanating through the windows of the living room. "No wonder he's still awake, it's a wonder he hasn't told his brothers to take the party elsewhere, my poor man is trying to get some rest!"
With my overnight bag in one hand, I tried the knob with the other, happy to find it unlocked as I twisted it and pushed forward. The tenuous ledge of sanity that I'd been clinging to gave way suddenly and viciously as soon as I opened that door. What I saw, an act so erotic and arousing for most, was pure horror for me. It was the horror of seeing your hopes, your trust- crashing down. Your love thrown into the toilet with the soiled paper and cigarette butts. My lover Cassius was naked on the bed, and so was my roommate Cai. They were fucking, hard and urgently, the way that only animals in heat or porn actors on camera fuck. So hard that they didn't immediately see or hear me when I came into the room. I saw Cai gasp and heard her squeal as I came into her sex-addled focus, then lunge forward away from Cassius' doggie-position thrusts. She stumbled forward then sat up as if yanked by a cord. Cassius was just standing there on his knees, his massive, condom-sheathed erection bobing on the front of his body while he looked blankly at me. None of us could speak for that first moment.
I looked down to the table at the foot of the bed. Four clear plastic bags filled with white powder, then two rows of white powder with two more mostly gone, only traces remaining. A small sack lay under the table as well, next to Cai's lace bra. At the very least, there was nothing for either of them to deny, but that was of no comfort to me whatsoever.
"Look we just got carried away, it was crazy, and we just weren't thinking Lexy, I knew it was wrong and was just for fun away, I never meant for any of this to happen did we Cass? I just...". She kept babling manically, but I was unable to listen any further. She was high as a kite, frantic. I was catatonic, unable to process the nightmare tableau before me. He was the one I trusted, yet he was fucking my roommate. He promised me that his family business was clean, yet I knew from my own drug use that only dealers kept this much yayo (cocaine) around. For that reason alone, I didn't want to be mixed up with a drug pusher, and he knew that. There was nothing to say, nothing to do except to cut the cord, to get the hell out of there. My overnight bag dropped to the floor and I turned around, wanting to run but too lightheaded to pull that off. I slammed the door to his house with all my might, slamming it on my trust in him as well. I got in my car, and left.
(knock knock knock knock knock)
"Lexy, come on! We need to talk!"
"Lexy, baby, at least look at me!"
He knew this was the only way to get to me now -to make eye contact- but I couldn't do it. I had to leave him behind.
"GO AWAY!! JUST GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!"
With that, the car lunged forward into gear and I somehow fought through the tears and made it home, while Cassius mercifully peeled away from me and went elsewhere.
Las Vegas is a lonely place for the lost- an arid, paved sea of identical pods: apartments, shopping centers, houses, fast food huts, repeating across each and every mile of this vast, sprawling grid. My apartment was, at best, quaint in our meager attempts to make it a home. A few pictures and decorations adorned each of our bedrooms, but the kitchen/living/dining areas remained bare except for basic furniture, the sum of our parts falling well short of a normal home's furnishings. Of my two roommates, only Cai really spent any time here anymore, as Daniela had, for all practical purposes, moved in with her boyfriend. Until tonight's disaster, it looked like I was going to be doing the same thing very soon. I wanted to sleep, to make it all go away, but I couldn't. I had to do something, anything, as long as it was alone.
The poster on my wall, a framed concert promotional for Fatboy Slim, hovered over me, taunting me, begging me to take it off the wall. All the tension inside of me boiled over suddenly, and I didn't resist. The frame flew apart and the glass shattered as it hit the wall across the room, denting the sheet rock. Next were my books, one by one, hitting the wall with a sharp thump. Faster and faster, the items flew out of my arms and into the wall, some landing on my bed. My lamp, given to me by my grandparents so that I'd always have good study light in college, was thrown across my body and through the window, the glass cracking with a high shriek and the blinds crushing as the metal fixture was forced through them both. I threw more books as well as my notebooks up at the ceiling, knocking out the light- leaving me with only a streetlight reflection against the opposite wall to see my way to the bed. The wind creaked in through the mangled blinds, making streaky shapes on the walls as I broke down again, sobing heavily, unconcerned by the sharp corner of a book jabing into my side. It was here that my body finally gave out and I drifted off, unable to hear my worried neighbor knocking at the door with the remaining pieces of my lamp.
I wish I could've frozen myself in those first few seconds of waking the next morning, before the wreckage of my room came into view- reminding me of all that had just happened. Less than a minute after opening my eyes, I wanted nothing more than to close them again, but I couldn't. I had to get up and out of this room, for one thing. I went into Cai's room, looking for any evidence that what I saw was more than just a one time thing. In the bottom drawer of her desk, I found it- an 8-ball baggie of coke, partially consumed, and surely purchased from that fucker Cassius on any of a hundred nights when I was hard at work earning nothing at the bar. Maybe not purchased at all, actually...at least not with money. I chose to chuckle silently to stave off the choke of tears, squeezing the packed powder through the cellophane wrapping. I'd owned and held at least a dozen little baggies just like this one a year earlier when I was using. Once I got my job, found roommates who were willing to take a new one on, and got my life back on the rails, I promised myself I'd never touch the white stuff again. Who knows, without that, I very well might still be in college, a sophomore by now actually.
What did it matter now, though? My job was a dead-ender, I wasn't in school, and the rug just got pulled completely out from under a life that I finally thought was worth fighting for. So, what the fuck was the difference now? Nothing, that's what.
I poured the baggie out on the desk, all that was left of it, grabed one of her spare business cards from the top drawer, and started to sort it into lines. I'd forgotten about the routines, the little things about drug use that make it comfortable and familiar. But sorting the powder, alone in my apartment, felt like slipping on a comfortable old shoe. My escape was right in front of me, and a few minutes later, it was up my nose and enveloping my body in flashes of warmth, finally settling into an electric haze of euphoria. Fucking christ, what have I been missing?! I had missed this so much! It was going to be okay after all, and fuck Cai and Cassius for trying to ruin my life. No one can take Lexy down- nobody!
I made two quick decisions: first of all, fuck my job, it was worthless anyway, and second, I would never see Cassius again. I smiled broadly, having taken control of my life again after having surrendered it stupidly for way too long.
---
tips to give her mega orgasm
First on the agenda today was to look for some old friends at UNLV- the lucky ones that found a way to juggle the drugs and the nightlife with schoolwork, lest they find themselves cut off from mom and dad's money. My old roommate Geneva was around, now living in an off-campus apartment, but very much living the same life as she was when we shared a tiny dorm room on campus. The queen of her domain, wherever she happened to be.
"Lexy, my dear. You look like a girl who...SO does not need to get more high than you already are!", she said through a hysterical laugh, raising her arms for a hug before leading me into her living room, where the curtains were pulled and the TV was showing Judge Judy give stern lecture to some mouth-breathing slob. I rber watching this show in college- for some reason, the higher I was, the more I rooted for Judge Judy to really let them have it. Geneva caught me up on a few others, some of which were still around, others who'd dropped out and disappeared from view.
"Aaaaanyway, it's great to see you again, girlie. You want to go to Smoothie King? Let me just find my flip-flops..."
She had seen me through my first college fling, which actually amounted to cheating on my high school boyfriend back in California, and over the next several months we partied together and looked after one another. Guy after guy, and one drug-and-booze binge after another, the two of us always found a way toward the end of the weekend to share our story and a laugh, ready to go for it again after a good sleep. The fact that she's easily the smartest person I know accounts for the fact that she can drink and use daily, yet maintain scholarship grades just by showing up to class when she can make it and cramming for tests when she can't. I was never that lucky, and it was a sad but inevitable day when I left her alone in our room for good. But this was like a homecoming, and I knew she was happy to see me somewhere beyond Facebook and the occasional email.
Befitting her intelligence, she sensed that I was after something else besides just her companionship.
"So," she said, leaning forward with a smile, "what lies next in store for the you, Lexy? Want to see if Steve's around? It's hot out, the pool is probably empty on a Wednesday, and we both know he'd like to see you, plus I could use some sun, if not his dick....or did you have something else in mind? Talk to me, girl!"
"Well, I was just wondering," I started before leaning closer in and dialing it down to a whisper. "Is Jackie still a reliable man, or is there a new friend that I should be introduced to?" I was asking her where she was getting her coke these days, and I could tell by her face that there was a story attached to her answer, so we left and drove across town while she explained all that had changed since I left school, and I told her all about what had happened to me, and where I wanted to go from here.
All of the old suppliers to UNLV had gotten busted by Metro police over the past year, so the horde of college students, young graduates, and hangers-on were left scrambling for new sources. People like Geneva, armed with a trust fund that was never ending and the smarts to find what she wants, eventually was led to a neighborhood in North Las Vegas- not a very nice one- where a local kingpin named Gerard was pouring a steady stream of high-quality South American powder into the willing streets of Las Vegas.
"Listen, at the very least it's a way to earn some extra dough, and what the fuck else are you going to do, hope some high-rolling Bud Light drinker is going to start over-tipping you? Make it happen, if only to get you back on your feet for now. We'll talk to him, and if you don't want to do it, no worries."
Geneva herself supplied to at least a dozen friends, a few of which supply to their own group of customers, which allowed her extra money to use her own shit without touching the trust fund. To hear her tell it, Gerard trusted her as much as anyone he supplied to. As we parked and approached the house, two African-American men stood to greet us before we could get to the door.
"Brick, Marcus, what's up, my brothas!", she said with a smile, sharing loose, friendly handshakes with both. "This is my girl Lexy, she might be coming around every now and then, cool?"
"Hey if she cool, we cool", said one of them, giving me the once, twice, then three times over. "And damn...you look cool to me. What's up, shorty?"
I smiled in return, leering right back at him, who had a little too much meat on him to be a cokehead himself. Always a good sign in a dealer- clean footsoldiers.
"Down, Brick, lay your game on your own time- is G-man here?", asked Geneva, already walking us through the front door.
"Yeah, he around. Hang on-", he said, "Shawna! Tell Gerard that Geneva's here, and she brought a new friend!"
A shapely young African-American woman rounded the corner into view and sighed as she climbed the stairs. A few moments later, Gerard came down the stairs and smirked as he saw my friend waiting.
"Ms. Saunders, how it do?", he asked in a deep bass voice, reaching his left arm out for an informal hug. Gerard was downright scary looking, which I suppose is fitting for a drug dealer. He stood no less than 6'5" with some bulk on him, and thick dreadlocks hung down below his shoulder blades and forward down over his chest. His skin was almost coal black, and his eyes were the kind that appeared capable of peering into your soul and reading your darkest fears in the course of a few seconds.
I was introduced, and we were led into his 'office', which was really much more of a master bedroom with a desk against a wall. Geneva and I sat on the bed, while she explained that I was interested in opening up a little bit of new business for him. She did all the talking, about my soon to be ex customers and co-workers at the bar, people in the apartment complex, and a few friends. What made me think I could suddenly and successfully sell cocaine to the everyday people I knew was beyond me, but it seemed exciting, new, deliciously naughty, and apart from the life of Cassius by day and shitty, low-paying waitressing by night.
"That's all run by Mexicans and the Asians down that end of town", he said. "especially south of the 95 where you are."
"But", he continued, "If all goes well, I might have just found my perfect little wolf in sexy mama clothing to get my inroads. I think we can do this."
He had Shawna bring out a bag of cocaine wrapped in a clear bag dropped it into a brown paper sack, and told me how much cash he expected me to return to him within three day's time. If I couldn't sell it all or decided to change my mind, he said to come see him, and we could find a way to go separate ways again.
"Call this your trial run. We'll see if you really got the contacts that you two say you do. I think you're gonna do damn good though, shorty. And make some money for yourself too."
I walked out of Gerard's place with more coke than I'd ever had in my life combined, brimming with bulletproof optimism, and itching to christen it with a little taste for myself. Another half hour through shift-change traffic, and we were back in her apartment where she treated me to a shot of Patron tequila and a shiny clean bar top to survey my product.
"Honey, I know just what to do to get you kicked off just right", she said, sipping on a Corona bottle while she watched me slowly untie the baggie and pour a little out into a dish.
"We'll have a little party, nothing but fratboys and athletes, the only reliable college kids with cash...they all know what the score is with me anyway." She continued, "Make some baggies, set some lines, you can knock through that first load in no time. I rber what it was like to be the girl scout who wasn't worth a damn at selling the cookies, don't you? Well, we're going to sell some cookies tonight, sis!"
I asked for another shot of Patron as I hovered over a line with a rolled up dollar bill and sucked it down, holding my nose as I popped up, smiling at Geneva.
"I've really missed you", I finally said after clearing my throat.
I woke up in a pool of my own sweat in the dead of night- the digital clock nearby told me it was 4:36AM. I was wearing clothes that I didn't rber wearing before, but I rbered lots of other things from the night before. I saw lots of people that I recognized from my year on campus, but met tons more. I explained my business plan to a nice guy who came with a handful of his football teammates, telling him I'd be happy to sell him whatever he needed, whenever he needed it. He kept laughing at me, but I loved him for it. He convinced me to take a short business break at one point in the evening, and me and my precious baggies joined him in Geneva's spare bedroom for a little fun.
I didn't want it slow, and I didn't want him to blow me away with his wonderful foreplay....I wanted to get fucked, and he had no problem with that. I listened as Geneva called out for me, only to be told by...fuck, what WAS his name?...anyway, his buddies, that we'd gone to the bedroom. She laughed and teased me from outside the door as he slammed into me from behind. I can still feel the sensation of his hot semen splashing up my lower back after pulling out and ripping off the condom. To celebrate our little tension-reliever, we did a line together, my treat. Such a nice guy, easy going- I hope I wrote down his number.
But right now I had more pressing matters- my heart was beating way too fast and I couldn't keep my eyes from rolling back on their own. "Think, Lexy! What the fuck happened after that?"
I did another line a little while after that, after my football playing fuck buddy departed, and did a couple more shots with an old friend...or maybe I just met her last night. We did a line together too, and then Steve came by and gave me some business too. How much did I actually sell? All of it, minus what I snorted?
Steve and I snorted a little too, had to give him a taste, and then did we go to bed together? Did we fuck? I don't think we did, but I wanted to. I rber being naked with Geneva and we were laughing like hyenas. I rber doing more coke with her, the last little bit after Geneva held me close and told me that we'd sold it all the first night but I was too manic to really pay attention to what she said. I rber thinking I'd done too much, and not being sure whether to run around the block or lay down, but I was prepared to do either one naked. I don't rber getting dressed, but somehow I did, in somebody's clothes.
I'd had way too much cocaine. That was the problem. I couldn't stop shaking or sweating, but I wasn't hot. Maybe that was the problem. My heart felt like it was going to burst when I stood, and I had to let the room spin for a moment before walking. A hot bath sounded good, but again my eyes were rolling back, fuck! I was going to drown if I didn't pull my ass out of this water! A cold shower only make me frantic and scared, and so I stumbled back to bed, only it was a different bed this time. Geneva was in it with someone else. I'd have to crawl into the side, I didn't have it in me to try to find my own bed. I couldn't do anything but try to keep breathing, even though I never felt like I was getting enough air.
Don't panic.
Shaking. Heart about to explode. Maybe I should call 911.
Heart still pounding, a mile a minute. Eyes rolling back, this might be it...is this really it?
Can't fight it.
---
"Lexy, shit, wake up! You're bleeding!"
I barely stirred when she shook me from side to side. My heart was so tired, and even the dimmed sunlight that made it's way through her sheer curtains were like blinding beams on my eyes.
"Fuck, she's bleeding from her nose, go get me a washcloth, Ben!"
Another hour later, I was awake and deemed unlikely to die, Geneva having successfully talked her impromptu overnight guest out of scooping me up and taking me to the ER. He said his goodbyes, leaving us two former roommates alone together again. She gave me some water, fed me a couple of ambien pills and told me to sleep it off while she went out to class and to run some errands. She left me a key and told me I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted, that I was an angel that she was glad had fluttered back into her life.
"Just lock up if you leave okay, sis? Both locks."
She always called me 'sis' when we lived together; old routines again, coming back like comfortable shoes. I nodded and crawled back into bed, sleeping the hot Las Vegas afternoon away in the comfort of my friend's bed, away from all who had betrayed me. Away from my old life.
---
I woke up a few times to drink water and use the bathroom, but didn't get up and around until about a day later. I sat up, dehydrated and frantic, though this time it had nothing to do with the excess yayo in my system. "Where the fuck is the money from the coke?"
I ran into the bar area, staggering from weakness, to where I had set up shop two days before. Drawers were yanked open and slammed one by one. "Where was it?" I opened a cabinet door below, throwing its contents out on the ground until I found something that released the air in my lungs in euphoric relief.
The bag. I looked inside to find a note.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SELL THE SHIT, NOT GET HIGH AS FUCK ON IT AND PASS OUT! DON'T WORRY I TOOK CARE OF IT FOR YOU. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITHOUT ME, SIS?
XOXO GEN
There was the cash, thank god, a mix of hundreds and twenties. I fingered through it, counting quickly.
There should be more. Where was the rest of the cash?!? In my jeans was another roll of twenties and a two hundies. Still short.
Maybe there was more in my wallet....where was my wallet?
In the overnight bag I left in Cassius' bedroom, along with my handgun, that's where.
"It's okay", I thought. "No problem, just call Marcellus or Armando and have them meet you at the front door with your bag."
The bad news is I was about a thousand dollars short of what I would owe Gerard in about....a day? Fuck.
The good news was that I had about that much in my wallet. I could pay Gerard, tell a white lie when he asks me if I made some money for myself, and start fresh again with a new supply. My phone was dead, but when I plugged it in I had 16 messages, and wasn't the slightest bit interested in hearing any of them. Cassius wanting to talk, Cai wondering what the fuck happened with my room, the window, and maybe her missing coke supply, and of course my manager at the bar, wondering why I no-showed two nights in a row.
"Poor bastard's probably worried about me, thinking to himself that it's not like me", I thought. "Heh, working stiffs."
Still, I felt a twinge of guilt about it as I looked out the window at the glow of the hotel neon lights against the sky. Johnny had always been good to me, he didn't deserve this. I would have to stop by and tell him that I'd been sick, which was true. Either way, though, I'd have to do it another night. Tonight, I needed my shit back from Cassius.
"Marcellus? It's Lexy."
"Oh...hey Lexy. You okay? I heard about what happened. Shit, that sucks, I don't know-"
"Don't worry about it", I said. "Listen, is Cassius there right now?
"No, no, he and my dad went to LA for something, won't be back until Saturday. I know he tried to call you."
"Fuck that, Mar...I have nothing to say to the guy. Look the reason I call is, I left my bag there, it has all kinds of important shit in it, so I need to stop by and get it, okay?"
"Yeah, we saw that, it's right here. When you coming?
"An hour and a half, see you there. Bye." No time to waste, time to get my things and get on with life. If all went well, I might even stop by the bar to apologize to Johnny. Oh, and quit too. Beyond that? I'd catch up with Geneva, wherever the wind has blown her by the time I come free. And then the next day, I'd go see Gerard and take this to the next level. I ate, showered, helped myself to Geneva's makeup stockpile, and ventured outside for the first time in more than two days.
First I had to stop at my apartment and change my clothes; jeans, slippers, and a blouse, all from two days ago, weren't making me feel very empowered (or clean, even after bathing). The place was dark and empty; a white sheet of paper folded up on the kitchen counter top was all that appeared out of order in the front room. I unfolded it:
LEXY,
ARE YOU OKAY? WHERE ARE YOU? WTF HAPPENED IN YOUR ROOM? THEY ARE GOING TO CHARGE US FOR THE WINDOW!
CALL ME ON MY CELL IF YOU SEE THIS!
CAI
"I really did leave this a fucking mess, didn't I?" I stepped over a pile of items that formerly occupied the surface of my desk and opened my closet. Luckily, the new leaf I was turning was easily accommodated by the wardrobe I already had- my favorite black, strapless mini dress would be just perfect, no bra, black thong, and matching heels. I went into Cai's room, rifled briefly through her stuff to see if she had anymore coke stashed away (negative), then grabed the half-empty packet of Marlboro Lights and a lighter on my way out the door. I would deal with all this bullshit later- now, it was time to get the business of my life off the ground.
The night air washed over me as I made my way across the city, windows down, aglow in the streetlights and signs. I smiled, feeling the wind in my hair, and my mood lifting by the minute. Pulling up alongside the house, I saw that Marcellus and Armando's bikes were parked out front, and the lights were on. I lit a cigarette as I opened the door, taking a long drag as I stood up in the street. Tufts of smoke drifted out from between my lips and caught the breeze. I felt powerful, calm, and protected from all the hurt that this place represented now.
"And what a beautiful fucking night", I thought to myself, taking another drag, watching the end glow a suddenly brilliant orange. "It's all different now- all business, and that whole mess is behind me. I'll go up there, get my bag, and be on my way. Not only that, but with my head held high and looking- hell, being- as fucking sexy as I've ever been."
With that, I threw the cigarette down, bringing the pointed toe of my pump down on it and grinding it into the pavement. I strode to the door, fixing it with the hottest glare I could conjure as I took a breath, then knocked.
Armando answered, wearing an under-armor shirt and shorts.
"I see you're all dressed up for a night on the town, Armando, which club is the lucky one tonight?"
He turned and chuckled, but looked quickly back my direction. "Just doing a little lifting, Lexy. Sorry I'm not all fuckin' dressed up like you. So where the fuck are you headed?"
Of the two brothers, Marcellus was the one who really connected with me. Armando was always a little more guarded and never felt like he owed me much respect, even if he was never overtly rude to me. He never watched his language, either. But fuck it, neither did I, so who was I to complain?
"Lots of places, babe. I'll only be a minute. You guys have my bag?", I asked as I stepped past him into the living room.
"Here it is- and damn, Lexy, aren't you something!" Marcellus walked into the room behind me, hair still wet from the shower, and a towel covering his waist down to the knees. I smirked at him over my shoulder, but whipped around when I saw my bag.
"Oh Marcellus, thank you thank you. Let me just check this out real quick and I'll be out of here." I unzipped it and rifled through, looking for my wallet.
"Ay, mami, you think we rifled through your shit, eh?", Armando teased me as I dug through the clothing with my right hand.
"Ah, the wallet," I sighed as I clutched it in my hand before ripping it open to check the contents. Empty.
I felt a wave of nausea roll through my body, and I sat on the couch to take another look, first in the wallet and then through my bag. Still no money, nowhere in any of my stuff. I couldn't even think about the specific consequences of coming up short with Gerard- all I knew is that I suddenly found myself in one hell of a jam. My voice was far more frantic than I wanted it to be when it came out.
"Guys, I had over a thousand dollars in here, where the fuck did it go?"
Both brothers just looked blankly at each other, almost amused, before looking back at me. Marcellus lifted up his hands, palms out.
"I didn't so much as fuckin' open the bag, Lexy, so..." I looked at Armando, who shrugged casually.
"I don't know either, Lexy. Never saw any money."
Cassius took it. He knew it was over, and he took it because he could. Fucking bastard! What was I going to do now?
"Think Lexy, be strong. Think your way out of this!" And just like that, my face lit up- I knew just the right way out of this.
"Well here's the fucking deal, cabrones.", I said, pacing slowly past them for effect before turning around to face them again. "Cassius, your brother. Your cheating, lying brother, has stolen from me. A lot of fucking money, money that I need. Money that's mine!" I stared into Armando's eyes, meeting a chillingly steely gaze in return. I darted my eyes over to Marcellus, whose eyes were focused considerably lower down my body.
"Now I know you guys won't just give me your money because this isn't about you, it's about your fucking brother. But I'm not walking out of here without something of fucking value, and luckily I know just the way for us all to walk away from this little situation with what we need."
Marcellus, sensing a grave situation, sat death with a heavy sigh, his towel barely draping low enough to hide what rested between his legs. Even in the midst of crisis, I couldn't help but try to steal a glance.
"He lied for weeks and weeks, and made you lie too, but I know the truth, guys. I know he's a fucking dealer, and I know he keeps at least some of his shit here, so let's drop the pretend game right here and now. The way I see it, he owes me money, and I'm prepared to take it in cocaine. Now, how does that sit with you, Marcellus?"
He fumbled for words, looking at Armando then down at my shoes, unable to look me in the eye. He said that whatever happened it was between Cassius and I and they couldn't get involved. He reminded me that his
"Can't do it, Mar," I said flatly, standing my ground. "You two both know that you could give me five 8-balls, that would get us square, and he would never know it was gone. I saw how he tends that shit, all in one fucking bag. You fools have a scale, let's do it.
"It's what's right." I concluded, again locking eyes with Armando, the likely dissenter of the two. His eyes cut away. "Yes, I've got him! Move in for the kill!"
"Besides," I continued, "smiling devilishly at one, then the other. "We could have a little fun with it too, big brother being gone and all....or would you rather fucking lift weights in your dining room all night?
"Hmm?"
I cocked my hip and rested a hand on it, just waiting on the effects of my persuasion to take effect.
"Well..." Marcellus started in, standing up and ambling toward me. "We might be able to work something out, have a little fun....what do you think, hermano (brother)?"
Armando approached me from the other side. I could feel him looking at me, but I stayed focused on Marcellus.
"Hey why not? As long as Cassius don't find out I don't give a fuck," he said from behind me, only a step away from my back now.
"No hell no! He can't fuckin' know about it! Tell you what, mami, we'll have some fun up front and make sure you leave with enough to get you even after that. How's that hit you, baby?"
His hand reached up to touch my hair, tucking one side of it behind my ear, then brushing my cheek as he drew it back. A chill ran up my back, suddenly realizing what kind of fun they were talking about. The testosterone was filling the space where I stood and both brothers were eyeing me, edging closer to me as the seconds passed- or maybe it only seemed that way. A sweat broke out on my back as I struggled to think.
"Lexy, you'll be even. You'll get your coke, you'll sell it, you'll be okay. They'll even do some with you afterward....and don't you want to get this fucker back, anyway? What better way than to fuck his brothers behind his back? You want to succeed in a tough world, you gotta be a tough bitch, Lexy. What's it gonna be?" There was no question to ponder, the alternative was unthinkable; it was business time.
No sooner than I touched Marcellus' face and pulled him down for a kiss, I felt myself sandwiched between the two muscular male bodies four hands pressing into my sides as the two torsos squeezed mine between them. Clearly, neither had any more qualms about what they were about to partake in: the forbidden flower of their own brother's girl. Marcellus and Armando, like their brother whom I loved so deeply, spent a lot of time weightlifting, and now I could feel their chiseled torsos against me, their breath becoming heavier by the moment. Marcellus lifted me up, wrapping his arms under me as I kissed him, our tongues twisting as my hands and legs clung to his back. Armando was kissing my neck and snaking his hands in front of me, caressing my body from outside my dress. My ass was barely covered by my dress even when I stood, and now that I was lifted up, I could feel the cool air against my cheeks, only the ribon of thong material down the center protecting me from total nakedness below.
Armando was working on pulling the front of my dress down when Marcellus turned us around and headed down the hallway to his room. I hit the bed, and my mental hold on the situation broke down. I saw both big men approach me, Marcellus' towel was gone and he was every bit as endowed as his brother, his monster showing definite signs of life, reddening and straightening as he crawled toward me. Armando was quickly undressing as well, removing his shorts, and revealed a similar gift for girth.
"Goddamn, I'm in trouble!" I thought, panicking. A normal, healthy instinct for a small girl being cornered by two huge horny males. In this case, though, it was equal parts arousal, fear, and reason. "Get your revenge, get your drugs, and go, Lexy!"
Armando turned me over and unzipped my dress, then effortlessly lifted my body to pull it off of me. Marcellus was between my legs, burying his mouth over my mound in one motion, forcing his tongue into my slit.
"Oh fuck!" I yelled aloud in reaction to the flash of sensation from his aggressive oral sex. Armando was equally rough on my tits, squeezing and sucking, pulling and pinching, showing a lustful lack of mercy while he rubed his cock against my naked hip, his own hips starting that natural rhythm already. I considered asking them to stick to oral sex, that I'd be glad to get them both off, that taking them both like this just might be too much. The fear overcame the arousal, and my breathing shortened into a panic attack. Marcellus' mouth was tightly clamped onto my pussy and I was trying to sit up, my abs tightening but no match for Mar's hands holding me, controlling me while he had his way. After a few minutes, he finally released his grip on me and sat up, wiping his mouth.
"Damn, bro, come get some of this. Now I know what he was going on about, she's like a fucking sweet dessert down there, fuck!" Marcellus got up and walked away and Armando pressed a hand into my chest, squishing a breast as he leaned over me, and stuck a finger into my hole. One finger, then two fingers, sliding them in and out quickly, and now Marcellus was back with condoms in his hand. My fear spiked again, and I had to say something.
"No....no, I", I stammered, trying to talk in between hyperventilations. "Let's stick to oral, I'll give you both a
"It better be really good fuckin' oral!" said Armando, in a sing-song reply.
"Oh don't you worry, baby, you won't know what hit you", I said, sitting up and leaning back toward him. I took his thick meat in my hand, noticing only the differences between him and his cheating, lying brother. He probably wasn't as long, but was every bit as thick. My mouth filled with saliva upon the taste of salt as I licked his head for the first time. My tongue swirled around the swollen glans, then down the side and back up, covering his cock with my thick stringy saliva. My hands stroked him, my mouth sucked him, and my eyes make contact with his- my best frightened schoolgirl look, the better to excite him and the sooner to get him off. I looked back down focusing on one mission, to stroke and lick this brown swollen monster to completion. Armando groaned, a low bass vibration that I could feel even through his shaft.
A vibration of my own joined his when I felt Marcellus' hands roughly separate my ass cheeks, pulling my thong to the side, and sending his tongue probing between my puffy, moist labia. At first just his tongue, then his tongue and a finger, then both plus the rough pressure of his thumb on my tiny clit. I felt my ass shake as his face roughly buried itself in my pussy, the faint stuble on his cheeks tickling my inner thighs just enough to enhance the already intense buzz in my lower body.
My spit got thicker and thicker, now mixing with his salty pre-cum as my speed got faster and faster. I set into a rhythm and worked it harder and more intensely, fondling his big nuts with one hand while I stroked with the other. His reddened cock throbed against my tongue and within my fist, as if it were gasping for a breath that my mouth wasn't allowing it to draw in. I felt it build, my legs beginning to shake and an intense pressure building in my hips, then releasing suddenly. I couldn't breathe, My mouth released Armando's penis and my chin dug into his belly. I was cumming hard, and lay prostrate over Armando's lap as Marcellus continued his hard assault on my pussy with his fingers and face.
As I found my breath, only to squeal and shake, I felt Marcellus release me and the mattress spring up again as his weight disappeared. I knew I could get Armando off soon the way I was now pounding my fist up and down along his shaft, moaning from the pure arousal of watching his beast appear and disappear around my petite fist.
Marcellus' finger was back inside me, then back out, wiping my juices on the surrounding skin, sending tingles throughout my body. Then I felt a much bigger, much warmer mass rubing up and down against my opening. I gasped, preparing to protest when he pushed forward, lodging it just inside me. I threw my head back, howling at the shock of the intrusion, only to feel Marcellus grip my hips and push forward, sinking his mass even deeper into me.
"Oh fuck!" He groaned from behind me. "This is some tight fuckin' pussy!"
I felt him withdraw, my walls releasing him and contracting, only to give way helplessly again, breaking me out in a fresh sweat of distress. I arched my back, my body desperately trying to negotiate this invasion as comfortably as possible from behind, but my partner would exercise no mercy in return, plowing roughly into me, pulling out, then quickly in again. The crotch of my thong was continually being pulled to the side, only to slide back to the center, rubing against by my labia and his shaft. I felt a tight twinge then heard a snap as Marcellus yanked them until the waistband broke, then tossed them to the side. Free of any further nuisance, he gripped my hips, pulled me up, and fucked me as hard as I've even been in my entire life. The room shook, my eyes were unable to bring anything into focus, everything between my legs spasmed, and I roared with an animalistic cry that was nothing more than my body coping with this fuck in any way that it could.
"Goddamn bro, I can't get this bitch to suck worth a damn with you fuckin' her like that! Slow the fuck down, enjoy that shit!" It was true, I could do nothing more than hang onto his shaft with one hand for stability while Marcellus rutted me mercilessly from behind. My other hand was trying in vain to grip a sheet that had been long pulled from it's edges; my fingertips scraped across the vinyl covering of his mattress instead. My pumps clung stubornly to my feet, though I suddenly had the desperate urge to kick them off, anything to give my body even one more ounce of relief. His knees kicked my legs too far apart though, and the thunderous assault on my body precluded any coordinated action on my part.
"Oh I'm enjoying it, don't you worry about that shit!", he said between his own heavy breathing. "I.....", his words stopped and a loud groan took over, slowing his thrusts and reaching his hands further up my body, his thumbs pressing into my ribs as they slid back.
"Oh shit...shit...." Marcellus reached under me and flipped me onto my back. Pulling off the condom as he lurched forward, he pointed his bulbous head at my face and stroked, shuddering as a hot stream of cum hit my cheek, then another on my mouth, and more on my neck and breasts, until finally he moaned and sat back on the bed, resting as his cock started to soften in his hand.
I always enjoyed swallowing Cassius' cum, but with his brother's load all over me and draped across my mouth, I was frozen, unsure of what to do. Finally I grabed the loose sheet and wiped off, not bothering with anything but the thick rope laid across my face.
I laid back on the bed, closing my eyes, catching my breath, gaining my bearings, and completely unprepared for Armando to mount me and sink his thick penis inside of me in one stroke.
"Aaaghh!" I screamed, pressing my hands into his muscular, tattooed chest, trying in vain to force him back out of me. My breath was gone and wasn't coming back, and it felt like he was splitting me in two from the crotch upward. I cried out, tears brimming at the edges, legs curled inward against his thick torso as he plowed deeply into me with strokes that sent him from halfway sunken to buried balls-deep. He was dominating me in every way, holding my arms against the mattress, wedging my legs apart, and pinning my body under his. I begged him to slow down, and finally he did, lowering his face to mine and releasing my harms. Knowing I had no further choice in the matter, the sick part of me that loved being used reared its head. At least now, it was taking over with some purpose.
I wrapped my arms around his back and finally kicked my heels off, digging my feet into the sides of his ass, tilting my hips into a better angle and then started to roll them into his thrusts, sending the veiny ridges of his shaft against my g-spot and the hard plate of his pelvic bone against my clit. My body was really not made for a girth like this, but I knew I was ok if I could move my body with his. My hands rubed his head as his thrusts picked up again, this time sending me hurtling toward the edge as his head sawed past my g-spot over and over.
"Oh fucking god, you're so big...you're gonna make me fucking cum!" and in another moment my toes curled in, bare heels digging into his legs as my pussy spasmed violently against him. He was sweating and panting, snorting and shaking. I knew he was close, yet I could neither breath or speak as my orgasm took total control of my body.
"Goddamn girl, I gotta know what my brother gets...I gotta know!!" and then he pulled out, ripped the condom off of his shaft, and plunged his bare engorged cock back inside me. I gasped, eyes open wide with surprise horror. Armando pumped a few more times then pressed all the way in, making a loud smack as our skin collided. His body shuddered, and I felt him swell and pulse inside me as his hips bucked and spasmed.
"Oh shit...oh fuck...." he said through a low moan, holding himself lodged deep inside me as he filled my sore pussy with his sperm. "Sorry, bitch...I just had to know." I looked into his eyes and saw an unmistakeable look of contempt and dominance as he wiped his brow and got up, his thick cock hanging stiffly between his legs as he exited the room.
I wanted to curse him out for such a degrading act, to reach for my shoe and throw it at his head, but I could muster no such energy or coordination. My legs were like jello and my head was lost in an exhausted haze. It was all I could do to breathe normally and rber where I was and why I was there.
Oh yeah...the drugs. I sat up, immediately feeling the thick goo start to emerge from my slick, reddened hole.
"Block it out, Lexy, everything else is bullshit. Talk to Marcellus, get your shit ,and get out of there, your work is done, you did what you had to do."
"That was fuckin' great, mami...that's what I call a good time", said Marcellus, who in the meantime had found a pair of shorts to put on and was now reminiscing fondly with a girl who was in no mood to reminisce about getting pounded mercilessly. It was back to business now.
"Whatever you say, Mar...listen, let's just weigh out some coke and I'll get out of your hair, ok?" He was staring blankly back at me, then turned away as I held my stare. "We can do a couple of lines if you want, too- but lets at least get it all separated and bagged. Time is money, you understand", I said, forcing a smile. Marcellus wasn't smiling.
"You're fucking serious, aren't you?"
"Serious about what?", I asked, my heart fluttering in pre-panic.
"Armando, get your ass back in here!" he shouted down the hall before turning back to me. "You really think I can cut out a thousand dollars in coke and Cassius wouldn't find out about it?"
"We had a deal, Mar, you agreed and so did your brother, now give me what's mine!" I could feel my face flush with anger as I realized what was happening. Just then, Armando rounded the corner.
"We can't give you fucking drugs, you stupid bitch! I can't believe you really fell for that shit! Come on, trick! Please! Hahahaha!"
I stood frozen in disbelief as Cassius' bastard little brother ridiculed me and Marcellus stood by chuckling with him. I was less than 20 feet from Cassius' room, I could just take what was mine and be gone. But these bastards were going to stonewall me!
"Look, you little coke fiend, you can be pissed at Cassius if you want, I guess you should be, fuck it...but I'm not giving you a grand worth of shit that you're just going to put up your own nose anyway. We had our fun, you're a fun little piece of ass- I can see why my brother liked having you around- but it's time for you to take your little fuckin' overnight bag and hit the road, bitch."
That was it, that did it. I saw red and suddenly flew into uncontrolled rage. I rber lunging at Marcellus swinging both fists, but can't clearly rber anything else until they were holding me down on the floor, screaming obscenities at me while I cried hysterically.
"Calm the fuck down, girl, damn!", I heard an exasperated Armando say from above, holding my arms down. "You're going to stand up and walk out of here, and you're never coming back, you understand us? Say yes or we'll hold your ass here all night, and we won't be having your kind of fun, neither!"
I was defeated. It was time to go away and regroup. Fighting the tears that kept coming, I nodded my head and they let me go. As I sat down in my car, I felt the burning between my legs from the workout I'd gotten earlier, and saw my bag, open with contents scrambled, taunting me for a plan gone horribly wrong. As I drove away, I heard one of them yell from behind.
"You forgot your shoes, bitch!", and I heard two thuds as my black pumps hit the car. I didn't stop to pick them up- it was time, once again, to leave that terrible place behind.
I drove past my apartment, wanting to stop in, especially when I saw the lights on- Cai was home- but I couldn't bear to deal with anything else that was crashing down around me. I'd taken enough of a beating for one night. I could feel Armando's seed continuing to drip out, sinking into the upholstery of my car seat. It was also caked across my chest, flaking away as I rubed it.
I stopped at Flamingo and Las Vegas Boulevard, the busiest intersection in town, and waited through the five-minute red light. I saw families with their children, drinks and trinkets and gifts in tow. I saw happy couples toting drinks in take-out cups, and gaggles of young adults in their best club wear, looking forward to a night of dancing and whatever else the night may bring. I rbered how excited I'd been to move here as an eighteen year old: before the drugs, and the dropping out, and the endless string of guys, and more drugs, and a crappy job. All of that optimism was gone now as my spinning mind tried to think of a way, any way, to get myself out of this giant mess I'd made.
The phone rang, but I dreaded to look at it. The light turned green, and the phone beeped again. Text message.
Before I even read it, I knew what I had to do next.
"Find a way out, Lexy. You're down, so use your claws to get back up. Stay in the game. Make them all pay."
I managed a tight smile, and drove eastward toward Geneva's place.
...TO BE CONTINUED...
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